Parenting Our Neurodivergent Son

Parenting Our Neurodivergent Son

I am a mother to an 8-year-old boy, which sees the world through different eyes and a completely unique perspective that the world labels as “not normal”.

Before I became his mother, I thought parenting was mostly about teaching a child how to fit into the world. Raising my son has shown me that it is also about allowing the world inside my heart to be transformed and not for me to put in a box with a ribbon on and hidden away because the world is not comfortable with Neurodiversity in any form. He experiences life with a passion, intensity, curiosity, and sensitivity that constantly reminds me there is no single correct way to think, feel, communicate, or connect. His mind and actions do not need to be reduce to labels by the world and what is deems “normal.” Neurodiversity deserves to be understood and accepted by those who love and cherish him, in all its complexity.

There have been moments that are completely heart breaking and there are moments that make you stop and take a breath.

There is extraordinarily little to sometimes no support through Education and Awareness throughout the world that teaches you and gives you the tools in which to take this journey alongside your child.

Our journey started with different Dr’s. Occupational therapist, speech therapist, and a psychologist.

The Psychologist truly listened to us, she was not trying to “fix” my son, the psychologist was collaborating with us, so that we could be better equipped, physically, and mentally to deal with his unique way of seeing and dealing with the world.

My only heartbreak was and still is that why must he adapt to this world, why does not this world adapt to the Neurodivergent. The unique individuals that they are. The degree of intelligence that they have trapped inside them and a way for them to freely express it without judgement.

This journey is not an easy one, but it has reshaped me, filled me with more love, compassion, and a determination to change the world’s views one person at a time.

Taking one day at a time is what this journey is all about and knowing that if the day is not “perfect,” and there have been tantrums and tears shed, it is not a failure as a parent. It is a learning experience and tomorrow is another day.

Parenting is messy and there are no manuals that one mould fits all. Trust yourself, give yourself grace and know that you are not walking this journey alone.

My son gives me strength during the loud or quiet moments of life. He has endless questions, a fierce determination, and a passion for the things he loves, and his mind is focused in that moment. He gives me the courage to fight for him in a world that is not designed for him in mind. He has taught me to always celebrate the small victories that others may overlook, a regulated and focused afternoon, an inspiring conversation, a spark of joy that brings him excitement and lights up his face. The moments may be small, and the moments may be fleeting but it is everything.

I have learnt over a period of years that it is not about chasing the idea of what you think he should be or want him to be but understanding who he already is and letting him flourish in his own way.

It is about patience, acceptance, and learning. It is about building a home where he is safe, loved and valued for who he is.

My son has taught that this journey we are on together, may be “different” according to the world but it does not mean less. Take the time to notice the beauty in unexpected places and things and hold onto hope that even in the hardest and darkest days, you are not alone.

There is always hope.

If sharing our story helps one less parent feel alone or changes one person’s opinion about a Neurodivergent child, then there is light beyond our home.

Written by: Carmen Butler

Parent of a Neurodivergent Son